Gerald Ratner and jewellery that was cheaper than an M&S prawn sandwich

Some people can do everything right and need only one mistake to bring everything down. Take Gerald Ratner – he destroyed his entire jewellery empire in 1991 with one speech. In only a few short years, Gerald Ratner had made The Ratners Group into one of the most valuable and fastest growing companies in the UK, with a peak valuation in 1990 of £840 million. Only one year later, standing in front of the Institute of Directors, he called his own products “total crap” and joked that his earrings were “cheaper than an M&S prawn sandwich but probably wouldn’t last as long”, presumably in a misguided attempt at self deprecation. The next day, his company lost £500 million in value. Just like that. The gaffe was so infamous that “doing a Ratner” is still common parlance for a grievous foot in mouth moment. Soon after, The Ratners Group almost collapsed (surviving as the Signet Group). You can watch the toe curling video below, where Gerald destroys half a billion pounds of value in just a couple of minutes:

Marks and Spencer try to crack America

Marks & Spencer tried to crack America in the 1980s. They waltzed in thinking everyone would love their very British ways. They didn’t. Americans found the sizes confusing, hated the British style clothing, and couldn’t understand why a store would sell both underwear and sandwiches. M&S lost nearly $1 billion before admitting defeat.

Royal Bank of Scotland and Fred the Shred

Speaking of absolute disasters, remember when RBS bought ABN AMRO in 2007? They paid £49 billion right before the financial crisis hit. Oops. They didn’t check the books properly and ended up buying a bank stuffed full of toxic assets. The British government had to step in with the biggest bank bailout in history. The CEO still got his pension though, so that’s nice.

Hoover and free flights to America

Hoover made a mind-boggling decision in 1992. They offered free flights to America for anyone spending £100 on their products. The flights were worth way more than the vacuum cleaners. People bought vacuums they didn’t need just to get the tickets. Hoover lost £50 million and their entire European division got sold off. Marketing genius!

Northern Rock collapse

Remember Northern Rock? In 2007 they thought they’d found a brilliant new way to make money – borrowing short-term cash to fund long-term mortgages. When the credit crunch hit, everything fell apart. People queued for blocks to pull their money out. It became the first British bank run in 150 years. The government nationalised it, and taxpayers picked up the bill.

Tesco tries to crack America

Let’s talk about Tesco’s American dream. Fresh & Easy was supposed to revolutionize American shopping. They spent billions setting up stores that Americans just didn’t want to visit. The self-checkouts confused people, the portions were too small, and Americans found the stores cold and clinical. After losing £2 billion, Tesco gave up in 2013.

Cadbury makes their chocolate cheaper (and everyone hates it)

The British chocolate company Cadbury tried to be clever in 2009. They changed the recipe of their Creme Eggs from dairy milk chocolate to a cheaper alternative. People noticed. They really noticed. Sales dropped by £6 million in just a few months. When Kraft (now Mondelez) bought Cadbury, they stuck with the cheaper recipe. People still complain about it.

British Airways terminal 5 launch

British Airways had a complete nightmare in 2008 when they opened Terminal 5 at Heathrow. They’d spent £4.3 billion on it, but on opening day the baggage system collapsed. They cancelled 500 flights and lost 23,000 bags. The chaos lasted for weeks. But hey, at least the building looked nice.

HMV thought mp3s were a fad

Bonkers decisions? How about when HMV ignored online music in the 2000s. Their CEO said digital downloads were just a fad. Amazon and iTunes ate their lunch. They went from 400 stores to virtually nothing. They still exist (via various rescues), and have even regained their flagship store on Oxford Street, but they’re a shadow of their former selves.

Companies House killed a business with a typo (and got sued for it)

The prize for most expensive typo goes to Companies House. In 2009, they accidentally listed Taylor & Sons Ltd as going into administration instead of Taylor & Son Ltd. The extra ‘s’ killed the wrong company. The 124-year-old business lost all its contracts overnight. They sued Companies House and won £9 million in damages.

Barclays and the LIBOR scandal

Barclays tried to be smart in 2012. They figured they could manipulate LIBOR rates (the rates banks use to lend to each other) to make more money. They got caught. The fine? £290 million. Their CEO lost his job, their reputation got trashed, and they’re still dealing with the fallout.

British Leyland and the Austin Allegro

Remember when British Leyland thought they could take on the Germans in the car market? They made the Austin Allegro – a car so badly designed that its square steering wheel would sometimes fall off. The windows would pop out if you jacked up the car. They managed to make a car that literally broke itself.

The death of Thomas Cook

More recently, Thomas Cook collapsed in 2019 after 178 years in business. They needed £200 million to survive but couldn’t get it. They stranded 150,000 holidaymakers abroad and lost 21,000 jobs. They’d stuck to the same old package holiday model while the world switched to booking flights and hotels online.

Pick ‘n’ mix couldn’t save Woolworths

And who could forget Woolworths? They watched as pound shops took their cheap items market, supermarkets took their pick ‘n’ mix, and Amazon took everything else. They just kept doing the same thing until they went bust in 2008. Nine decades of British retail history gone because they couldn’t work out what they were supposed to be selling. Occasionally, rumours surface that Woolworths will return to the high street, though these are always some joker pranking a nostalgic (and somewhat gullible) public.

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Forget 2p coins, we used to be able to pay our taxes in eels

So tax does have to be taxing, but it doesn’t have to be… boring? Just ask the medieval British who paid their taxes in eels. Yes, you read that right – eels. During the Middle Ages, landlords would collect rent in the form of eels because they were such a popular food. The city of Cambridge alone used to pay 45,000 eels a year to the King. It somewhat puts protest payments in 2p coins into context.

The beard tax of 1535

But it gets weirder. Tudor England had a tax on beards. Henry VIII decided that facial hair should come with a price tag, and the amount you paid depended on your social status. Elizabeth I later continued this bizarre tradition, making people pay for the privilege of growing a beard. The tax collectors would actually walk around touching people’s faces to check if they needed to pay up. Talk about hands-on government work.

The window tax of 1696

Windows caused quite a stir too. The Window Tax of 1696 made people pay based on how many windows their house had. What did everyone do? They bricked up their windows, of course! You can still spot these blocked-up windows in old buildings all over Britain today. The tax lasted until 1851, and we got the phrase “daylight robbery” from this peculiar tax.

The hat tax of 1785

Think that’s odd? In 1785, Britain started taxing hats. Every hat needed a stamp inside it to prove the tax had been paid. Hat sellers who didn’t comply faced the death penalty – a bit extreme for dodging hat tax, wouldn’t you say? The tax inspectors would raid shops looking for unstamped hats. This led to a booming trade in hat-shaped non-hats that people would claim weren’t technically hats at all.

TV licenses charged more for colour until 2020

Let’s jump to something more recent – Britain actually had a tax on TV colours until 2020. If you owned a colour TV, you paid more than someone with a black and white set. People still owned black and white TVs just to save on the license fee – in 2019, over 6,000 homes still had black and white licenses! They finally scrapped this colour premium, but the TV license itself lives on.

The playing card tax of 1711

Have you heard about the playing card tax? From 1711, every pack of cards needed a special stamp on the ace of spades to show the tax had been paid. This tax lasted over 200 years! The government kept such tight control that only one company could print the ace of spades. People started forging them, leading to a thriving underground card game scene.

The pasty tax

Modern Britain hasn’t lost its touch for weird taxes. Take the “pasty tax” controversy of 2012. The government tried to add VAT to hot takeaway food, but this created the bizarre situation where the temperature of your pasty determined how much tax you paid. If your pasty was hot, you paid more tax. If it had cooled down, you paid less. Bakers actually started letting pasties cool just to save their customers money.

VAT on food

Speaking of food, Britain taxes some really strange combinations. A gingerbread man with chocolate eyes? Standard VAT rate. But if it has chocolate buttons? Zero-rated! Frozen yogurt? Taxed. But frozen yogurt with raisins or nuts in it? No tax! These distinctions keep tax accountants scratching their heads to this day.

Is a Jaffa Cake a biscuit or a cake? (Because it’ll determine the VAT)

Here’s a modern head-scratcher: you pay no VAT on a plain biscuit, but add chocolate to it and suddenly it’s a luxury item with 20% VAT. But what about Jaffa Cakes? McVities went to court to prove Jaffa Cakes were cakes (zero-rated) not biscuits with chocolate (standard-rated). They even baked a giant Jaffa Cake to prove their point. The key evidence? Cakes go hard when stale, while biscuits go soft. Jaffa Cakes go hard, so they won the case!

Noisier helicopters = more tax

And don’t get me started on helicopter taxes. If you land your helicopter in London, the amount of tax you pay depends on how noisy your helicopter is. They actually have people measuring helicopter noise levels to work out the tax bill. The quieter your chopper, the less you pay.

More heads on your mannequin = more tax

A particularly bizarre one involves mannequins. If you import a mannequin with a second head, you pay less tax than if you import the heads separately. This has led to some very strange-looking mannequins being shipped into the UK, as retailers try to game the system.

The fizzier the drink = the more tax

Britain still keeps creating new weird tax situations. Since 2018, you pay more tax for drinking fizzy drinks, but only if they’re fizzy enough. Tax inspectors literally measure the bubbles in drinks to work out how much tax to charge. Drink manufacturers started reducing sugar levels just enough to dodge the tax, creating this strange middle-ground of semi-sugary drinks.

The royal family and tax

Even the Queen wasn’t exempt from tax oddities. Until 1992, the monarch didn’t pay income tax – this was a gentlemen’s agreement rather than law. But here’s the weird part: the Queen still had to pay a tax called “Royal Assent”. This meant she technically paid tax on her own laws! She had to approve every tax law, thereby taxing herself.

Death and taxes aren’t as certain (it depends on how you’re buried)

Tax doesn’t end when you die either. If you get buried in a wool shroud instead of a regular coffin, you pay less tax. This comes from an old law meant to boost the wool trade, but it’s still on the books. Some eco-conscious Brits have started using this centuries-old tax break for green burials!

The post The UK’s Weirdest Taxes appeared first on Compare Business Bills.

Starting a business begins long before you fill out any paperwork. You need to ask yourself some honest questions about your motivations and readiness. Money matters, of course – we all need it. But if that’s your only driver, you might struggle when things get tough (and they will get tough). Think about what really excites you about running your own show. Maybe you’ve spotted a problem you’re itching to solve, or perhaps you want to turn your passion into something that pays the bills.

Take a moment to reflect on what draws you to entrepreneurship specifically. Is it the thrill of building something from scratch? The freedom to chart your own course? Understanding your core motivation will help you push through the inevitable challenges ahead.

Testing your business idea

Your brilliant business idea needs to face reality before you invest too much time and money. Start by getting out there and talking to potential customers. Don’t just ask your friends and family – they might tell you what you want to hear. Find strangers who fit your target market and get their unvarnished feedback.

You don’t need to launch with a perfect, polished product or service. Create something basic that demonstrates your core offering – what’s called a minimum viable product (MVP) in startup speak. This could be as simple as a single product design or a stripped-down version of your service. The goal is to test whether people will actually pay for what you’re planning to sell.

Social media can be your friend here. Try running a small campaign to gauge interest. Set up a simple landing page and see if people sign up for more information. Book a stall at a market and observe how people react to your offering. The key is gathering real-world data before you go all in.

Choosing a legal structure for your UK business

The UK offers several ways to structure your business, and your choice will affect everything from paperwork to taxes to personal liability. Let’s break down your main options:

Sole Trader

This is the simplest way to start a business in the UK. You’re basically saying “I am my business” – there’s no legal separation between you and your company. It’s quick to set up and involves minimal paperwork, which makes it popular with freelancers and small business owners. You’ll keep all the profits (after tax), but you’re also personally responsible for any business debts.

Limited Company

Creating a limited company makes your business a separate legal entity from you. This protects your personal assets if things go wrong – your liability is limited to what you’ve invested in the company. You’ll need to register with Companies House, file annual accounts, and deal with more paperwork. But you might pay less tax, and some clients prefer working with limited companies.

Partnership

Going into business with someone else? A partnership lets you share the load (and the profits). Like sole traders, partners take on personal responsibility for business debts. You’ll need a solid partnership agreement – even if you’re going into business with your best friend. Actually, especially if you’re going into business with your best friend.

Funding your UK business

Starting a business usually requires some upfront cash. How much depends on your business type – an online consulting business might need little more than a laptop, while a restaurant requires significant investment. Here’s where you might find the money:

Self-funding

Using your own savings gives you complete control and freedom from debt. But it puts your personal finances at risk. Make sure you keep enough aside for living expenses while your business finds its feet.

Government support

The UK government offers Start Up Loans between £500 and £25,000. These come with free mentoring and business planning support. The interest rates are often better than commercial loans, and you don’t need a perfect credit score to apply.

Angel investors and venture capital

If your business has high growth potential, you might attract investors who’ll fund you in exchange for a share of your company. Angel investors are wealthy individuals who invest their own money, while venture capitalists manage funds on behalf of others. Both typically want to see a clear path to significant returns.

Crowdfunding

Sites like Kickstarter and Crowdcube let you pitch your business idea directly to the public. People can back your project in exchange for rewards or equity. It’s a way to raise money while building a customer base, but running a successful campaign takes significant effort.

HMRC, tax, banking and insurance

Once you’ve chosen your business structure and secured funding, you need to make things official. The exact steps depend on your business type, but here’s what most businesses need to handle:

Registering your business

Sole traders need to register for Self Assessment with HMRC. Limited companies must register with Companies House – you’ll get a certificate of incorporation that proves your company exists. You’ll also need to register for Corporation Tax.

Business bank account

While sole traders can technically use their personal account, getting a dedicated business account makes accounting much simpler. Shop around – many banks offer free business banking for the first year or two.

Insurance

Think about what could go wrong in your business and get appropriate coverage. Professional indemnity insurance protects against claims from unhappy clients. Public liability insurance covers accidents involving customers or the public. If you employ people, you legally need employers’ liability insurance.

Check out our dedicated small business insurance guide.

VAT registration

You must register for VAT if your annual turnover exceeds £85,000. You might choose to register voluntarily if you deal mainly with VAT-registered businesses, as you can then reclaim VAT on your purchases.

Accounting and finance

Running a business means keeping track of money flowing in and out. You’ll need to:

• Record all income and expenses
• Keep receipts and invoices
• Submit tax returns on time
• Pay any tax owed

Consider using accounting software to make this easier. Many business owners also work with an accountant, especially when first starting out. They can help you understand your tax obligations and identify legitimate ways to reduce your tax bill.

Setting up your financial systems

Start with good habits from day one. Open your business bank account before you take your first payment – this makes it much easier to track business income and expenses. Many modern business accounts integrate directly with accounting software, automatically categorizing your transactions and saving you hours of manual data entry.

Speaking of accounting software, choose one that matches your needs. If you’re running a simple service business, you might only need basic invoicing and expense tracking. Retail businesses need inventory management features, while companies with employees need payroll capabilities. Popular options like Xero, QuickBooks, and FreshBooks offer free trials – test them out before committing.

Managing cash flow

You’ve probably heard the saying “cash is king,” and nowhere is this truer than in small business. You can be profitable on paper but still run into trouble if you can’t pay your bills on time. Create a cash flow forecast that maps out when you expect money to come in and go out. Include regular expenses like rent and utilities, but also plan for seasonal variations and unexpected costs.

Set clear payment terms for your customers and stick to them. Send invoices promptly – the sooner you invoice, the sooner you get paid. Consider offering small discounts for early payment or requiring deposits for large orders. Keep some cash reserves for slow periods or emergencies – aim for at least three months of operating expenses.

Tax planning and management

Tax doesn’t need to be taxing, as HMRC likes to say, but it does need constant attention. Set aside money for tax as you earn it – many business owners keep a separate savings account just for tax payments. The exact amount depends on your business structure and profit levels, but setting aside 25-30% of your income is a good starting point.

Keep detailed records of all business expenses – you can offset these against your tax bill. This includes obvious things like inventory and equipment, but also marketing costs, professional memberships, and even a portion of your home utilities if you work from home. Take time to understand what you can and can’t claim – this knowledge can save you thousands in tax.

Managing your payroll

Payroll arguably belongs in the accounting and finance section but it’s such a big subject that we’ll separate it here. Setting up payroll might seem daunting at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. The moment you hire your first employee, you need to run a PAYE (Pay As You Earn) system. This isn’t just about paying salaries – you’ll deduct income tax and National Insurance from your employees’ wages and pass these on to HMRC.

Register as an employer with HMRC

Start by registering as an employer with HMRC. Do this a few weeks before you pay your first employee because it can take up to five working days to get your employer PAYE reference number. You’ll need this number for pretty much everything payroll-related.

Payroll software and HMRC payroll

Most small businesses use payroll software to handle the calculations. HMRC actually provides free software if you have fewer than ten employees. It’ll work out all the tax and National Insurance deductions, generate payslips, and tell you how much to pay HMRC. The commercial options offer more features, like automatic pension contributions and easier reporting, but they’ll cost you a monthly fee.

Workplace pensions for your employees

Speaking of pensions, depending on their salaries, you’ll likely need to set up a workplace pension scheme for your employees. Autoenrolment means most employees must be put into a pension scheme, and you’ll need to contribute to it too. The minimum employer contribution sits at 3% of qualifying earnings, while employees put in 5%. Some employees might opt out, but you have to enrol them first.

Full Payment Submission (FPS)

You’ll send something called a Full Payment Submission (FPS) to HMRC every time you pay your employees. This tells them what you’ve paid each person and what deductions you’ve made. Miss the deadline, and you might face penalties. Real-time reporting means HMRC knows exactly what’s happening with your payroll as it happens.

The payroll calendar

Keep an eye on your payroll calendar. Most businesses pay monthly, but you might choose weekly or fortnightly payments. Whatever you pick, stick to it – employees appreciate consistency. Remember to factor in holidays and bank holidays. Nothing frustrates employees more than getting paid late because you forgot about Easter Monday.

Sick pay and maternity/paternity pay

Don’t forget about statutory payments. You might need to handle sick pay, maternity pay, or paternity pay. The government will usually reimburse you for these, but you need to pay them first and claim them back. Keep detailed records of any statutory payments – you might need them months or even years later.

Year end preparation

Year-end brings extra tasks. You’ll need to submit final reports to HMRC, give all your employees P60 forms (showing their total pay and deductions for the year), and report any expenses and benefits on P11D forms. Start preparing for these well before the deadlines – last-minute rushes often lead to mistakes.

Check out our dedicated small business payroll guide.

Marketing your UK business

Even the best business won’t succeed if nobody knows about it. Your marketing should start with understanding exactly who your customers are and where you’ll find them. Create a simple website that clearly explains what you offer. Use social media to build relationships with potential customers – but focus on platforms where your target market actually spends time.

Word of mouth remains powerful, so make every customer interaction count. Consider offering early customers a discount in exchange for feedback and reviews. Build relationships with other businesses in your area or industry – they might become valuable partners or sources of referrals.

Remember that marketing isn’t just about finding new customers. Often, it’s more profitable to keep existing customers coming back. Think about how you’ll stay in touch with people who’ve bought from you and encourage them to buy again.

Understanding your position in the market

Before you spend a penny on marketing, get crystal clear on your market position. What makes your business different? Who are your ideal customers? What problems do you solve for them? Write this down and refine it until you can explain it in a sentence or two.

Research your competitors thoroughly. Don’t just look at their products and prices – analyze their marketing messages, their customer service, their social media presence. Find gaps in their offering that you can fill. Maybe they’re slow to respond to customer inquiries, or perhaps they don’t serve a particular segment of the market.

Creating a UK marketing strategy

Your marketing strategy should flow naturally from your market position. If you’re positioning yourself as a premium service provider, your marketing should reflect that quality in everything from your website design to the paper stock of your business cards. If you’re competing on convenience, emphasize your extended hours or easy booking process.

Build your marketing around your customers’ habits. If you’re targeting busy professionals, focus on LinkedIn and email marketing. If your customers are young and trend-conscious, Instagram and TikTok might work better. Don’t try to be everywhere – it’s better to do a great job on one or two channels than a mediocre job on many.

Content marketing and social media

Content marketing means creating valuable information that helps your target customers. This could be how-to guides, industry insights, or entertaining content related to your field. The key is consistency – regular, high-quality content builds trust and keeps you in customers’ minds.

Think beyond just posting on social media. Create content that serves different purposes: some to educate, some to entertain, some to showcase your products or services. Mix up your formats – write blog posts, record videos, share behind-the-scenes photos. Show the human side of your business – people buy from people they like and trust.

Building customer relationships

The best marketing happens when your customers do it for you. Focus on creating experiences worth talking about. This might mean going above and beyond with customer service, adding unexpected touches to your packaging, or following up personally after a purchase.

Create a simple system for staying in touch with customers. This could be a monthly email newsletter, regular social media updates, or occasional phone calls to your best clients. The method matters less than the consistency – stay present in their minds without being pushy.

Day-to-day operations

Running a business means juggling many balls at once. Here’s how to keep them all in the air.

Time management and productivity

As a business owner, your time is your most valuable resource. Start each week by planning your key priorities – what absolutely must get done? Block out time for these tasks first, then fit other activities around them. Consider using time-tracking software to understand where your hours go – you might be surprised.

Learn to delegate or outsource tasks that aren’t the best use of your time. This might mean hiring staff, working with freelancers, or using automation tools. Yes, this costs money, but it frees you to focus on activities that generate more income.

Systems and processes

Create systems for everything you do regularly in your business. Write down your processes, even if you’re the only person who’ll use them. This helps you work consistently and makes it easier to delegate tasks later. Start with your most frequent activities – how you handle customer inquiries, process orders, or create quotes.

Use technology to automate repetitive tasks. Set up automatic invoicing, use scheduling software for appointments, create email templates for common responses. The time you invest in setting up these systems will pay off many times over.

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